Celebrating 2 sweet miracles!: For the love of a child

One of the most common questions people ask after hearing about our open adoptions or seeing us with Kalea's birthparents is,

"Is it hard?"
(having their birthparents so involved in our lives)

No.
It has been a blessing... beyond measure.

With the birth of each of our daughters, our family grew... not just by one, but by several people. In both cases, we added grandparents, some aunties and uncles, half-sister, and most importantly, our daughters' incredible birthparents.

You are four of the most courageous, selfless,
strong and loving people we know.
period.
Thank you for choosing life.
Thank you for choosing adoption for your daughters.
We love you.

Thank you to their families and to ours for supporting them
and for standing beside us
as we ALL welcomed these little girls into our family.

The relationship we have with our daughters' birthparents is unlike anything I know to compare... We are a family ... All of us. Perhaps most similar to a brother/sister relationship, but they are her birthparents. Every adoption, the circumstances surrounding them and the relationships are different. In both of our cases, we have been blessed with open adoptions and sweet relationships. Relationships that have brought much joy to our family and we are better people because of them.

We're not 'sharing' a baby, it's not like a divorce with visitation rights, every-other weekend, awkward pass-offs... She's our daughter... We are her parents and they are her sweet birth parents. They love her... which doesn't diminish in any way our love for her, only adds to it. To some this may seem terrifying. "what if... She decides to live with her real mom one day?" "what if her birthparents decide to take her back?" can't. Done deal. Court approved and sealed in the Temple. Not only that, but in talking with our daughters' birthparents and many others like them we've found that these kinds of concerns are the furthest things from their minds. They have made their choice and even though it is painful, they know it is right. They are giving her a beautiful gift. Life. Love. And her family.

As we first approached the idea of adoption, we were... uneasy with the idea of an open adoption. So many "what ifs..." Really it boiled down to fear of something we didn't know or understand. As we began to associate with families who had adopted children and with birthparents who had placed children, our hearts began to change and understand the great love, healing and joy that can come from an open relationship. And by the time Naomi finally came, our hearts were ready...

Ready to expand.

Ready to love.

And really, they are God's daughters. We have stewardship to teach, protect (to our best ability), and love (with all our hearts). HE did a similar thing in sending His only begotten Son to be raised by Mary and Joseph.